


As The Moon Rises

by c0cunt



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Post-Canon, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 18:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12371841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0cunt/pseuds/c0cunt
Summary: Keith hoped that no one would ever bring up what had happened in the final moments of the battle at Naxzela.  His hopes are dashed, when Shiro confronts him at the end of a meeting.





	As The Moon Rises

**Author's Note:**

> i'm still crying over keith being willing to die, for the slight chance that it would save everyone else. he wouldn't even KNOW if it worked, he was prepared to die for the HOPE that it would work and i'm  
> so fucked up over this

In the rush of activity following the successful capture of Naxzela, Keith couldn’t help feeling relieved that no one brought up what had happened before Lotor had attacked the galran ship’s shields.  There had been figuring out what Lotor was up to, and if they could trust Lotor’s word (they were still divided on that, and Lotor was securely locked up with Kolivan).  Then there had been rebuilding the newly freed planets and solar systems.  Numerous missions that Keith had been assigned with the blade of marmora, pulling even further from the people he’d found the lions with, the people who had once called him  _ family _ at some point.

 

Until abruptly, Shiro turned to him in the middle of a meeting between the rebels, marmora, and Voltron.  Eyes wide with warring emotions, as if he was seeing Keith for the first time in a while; and, well, he was.  A new scar cut across Keith’s cheek, and his hair was pulled into a tight braid that Regris had once shown him to do.  He didn’t look like Keith from the Garrison, or the Keith that had flown the red and black lions once.  A Keith that Shiro hadn’t met yet, and just by the look Shiro shot him in between reports from the respective leaders, Keith knew that Shiro wanted to speak with him.

 

“Keith!”  Shiro called after him, as the blade of marmora members all gathered up to leave as they always did.  Keith hesitated, but several of his fellow blade members nodded at him understandingly, as if to allow him the time to speak.  They did, after all, probably hear the way Keith would wake up screaming for Shiro in the middle of the night - they all had something or someone they were fighting for.  

 

“Shiro?”  Keith murmured once the other man caught up to him, not quite being able to make eye contact.  Instead, he looked around Shiro, and caught sight of the other paladins, who were grouped together and sending confused looks at Shiro’s back.  He unintentionally caught Lance’s eye, and shrank in on himself as Lance glared at him.  It...Hurt, knowing that they wouldn’t want him back anyway.  Even after all the talk about how they had become a family…

 

“...istening to me?  Keith?”  Shiro’s quiet, concerned voice broke through to Keith, who shook his head roughly.

 

“S-sorry Shiro, what were you saying?”  Keith stammered, looking back up at Shiro, who only looked more concerned than before.

 

“Before Lotor showed up at the Naxzela battle,” Shiro started.  Keith’s heart sank, and he let his gaze drop as he listened to what Shiro was going to say next.  “Matt told us that you...Were you really going to try crashing your ship into the shield?”  Shiro asked delicately.  Keith cringed at the way he’d worded what Keith  _ knew _ he wanted to say, but had no defense against the truth of his actions.

 

“Yes.  There was no other option…” Keith trailed off as he chanced a look at Shiro’s face.  The older man looked absolutely horrified, his eyes turning slightly glassy.  Shiro’s hand raised slightly, as if he wanted to reach out for Keith, but didn’t quite reach far enough, hovering uselessly between them.

 

“You...Were going to sacrifice yourself, on the off chance that you crashing the shield would take it down?”  Shiro squeaked out, as if rephrasing it would make it somehow less true.  When Keith nodded, confirming Shiro’s words again, Shiro let out a pained noise as he hesitantly reached out for Keith, hand shaking as if reaching for someone he wasn’t sure was there.

 

“You didn’t even  _ know _ if the shields would be destroyed!  There’s no escape from a Galra cruiser...You would’ve died if Lotor hadn’t shown up,”  Shiro trailed off, his voice cracking slightly.  Keith pulled in on himself the more Shiro spoke, feeling guilt crawl up his spine uselessly, before Shiro roughly pulled him into the tightest hug he’d experienced in a long time.

 

“Shiro…” Keith breathed out, arms trapped at his sides.  Shiro shuddered, and pressed his face into Keith’s neck, smearing - tears, Shiro was crying over him.  “Shiro,” Keith said more urgently, eyes flicking between the man holding him close, and the other paladins, who were staring at them openly in silence.  Shiro let out a quiet sob, arms loosening enough that Keith could extract his own and pull Shiro closer.

 

“You c-can’t do that Keith.  I can’t lo-lose you.  P-please, I can’t…” Shiro choked on his words, face still tucked against Keith’s shoulder.  Keith shook his head, almost dislodging Shiro’s.

 

“I can’t promise that it won’t happen, and you know that.  Sometimes sacrifices have to be made,” Keith whispered gently, stroking a hand over the short hairs of Shiro’s undercut soothingly.  Shiro lifted his head suddenly, glaring at Keith with slightly red-rimmed eyes that made Keith’s heart  _ ache. _

 

“Not  _ you. _  God, Keith, you...I can’t lose  _ my _ universe, what would be the point trying to protect it?”  Shiro bit his words out, somehow able to ignore how his voice cracked with emotion.  Keith felt as though someone had punched him in the gut, unable to  _ fathom _ what Shiro was saying.  He opened and closed his mouth uselessly, like a fish out of water, flailing for some sort of solid ground.  As he always had, Shiro provided that ground with a soft sigh, and pressing their foreheads together.

 

“I...Shiro…” Still, Keith couldn’t string more than two words together.  And still, Shiro smiled at him, a shy smile that made Keith want to cry from how loving it was.  So he did, adding “I never wanted to hurt you,” in a quiet, breathless way.  Shiro hummed, acknowledging but not relieving Keith from the way his potential sacrifice had hit them both.  Someone, or a pair of someones, cleared their throats loudly, popping the private bubble that had been surrounding the pair, and making Keith jump, hands fisting uselessly in Shiro’s armor.

 

“We still have a lot to talk about,” Shiro said seriously, slowly unwinding his arms from around Keith’s back until they rested against Keith’s waist.  Keith let his arms fall slightly too, but neither of them seemed able to take that final step back, until Lance barked out a sharp “Shiro?”

 

“We do,” Keith agreed, watching as Shiro dragged his arms down Keith’s own, and gripped his hands gently for a moment.  Synchronized, both Shiro and Keith stepped away from each other, and Keith watched as Shiro turned back to the other paladins.  Matt stepped into Shiro’s space with a frown, and Lance threw another frown over his shoulder at Keith, as he threw an arm around Shiro’s shoulder as he loudly started a story about...Something.  Pidge and Allura, surprisingly, both smiled gently in Keith’s direction, and Hunk gave Keith a smile and a thumbs up.

 

As Keith turned back to the silently waiting members of the blade, he felt...Unsure.  Maybe the family he had joined would accept him back, someday.

**Author's Note:**

> this might be the last thing i post for awhile, guys. nothing makes me feel okay anymore, and i just. feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. i can't afford to get help, and it's better for everyone else if i just kinda slide away from everything.  
> i do appreciate any comments or kudos y'all leave, though. thank you as well for your past support


End file.
